April 1, 2014
The Honest Kitchen® Releases ‘Zodiac’ First-Ever, Astrology-Based Online Platform to Help Pet Guardians Select the Correct Pet Food Recipe
San Diego, Calif. (April 1st 2014) – The Honest Kitchen, a producer of healthy, human-grade pet food products, has unveiled an interactive online platform, which uses the ancient art of Astrology, to help pet guardians with the task of pet food recipe selection. The platform uses the animal’s precise place and time of birth (or adoption), which is then analyzed and charted by a professional astrologer, resulting in a precise food recommendation being emailed to consumers.
Having unimaginatively code-named the platform Zodiac, the time-strapped company will be running an online contest during April, for customers to suggest alternate names, in a thinly veiled attempt to leverage the creative minds of others, for minimal compensation. Users of the beta version of the platform have been expressing delight with the results, despite the name.
“I never knew my little schnauzer, Frida, should actually be fed human-grade turkey and organic oats!”, commented lifelong pet owner and early-tech adopter, Paula D’Angelo, as she picked pet hairs off her Niagara Falls souvenir t-shirt. “This Zodiac thing is really easy to use. I still need to dig up the adoption records for my kitty Mr. Bigglesworth to see what food he would like.” She made a point to whisper ‘adoption’ as though it was still a secret to Mr. Bigglesworth that Paula was not, in fact, his biological mother.
“One of the biggest challenges we’ve faced as we’ve grown and expanded our product line over the years, is helping the average pet consumer to understand what we offer, and to make the right recipe selection based upon their pet’s individual needs,” commented company founder Lucy Postins. “We’ve been working for many years to educate pet owners on the fact that, like people, every pet is as unique as a snowflake, and their food should be chosen based upon their unique needs.”
Regardless of socioeconomic factors, the vast majority of consumers in the US are completely overwhelmed with how to choose the right pet food recipe. “Some pet guardians are lucky enough to be told what to feed by their vet, an interfering friend, or some other expert resource. Honest Kitchen customers, as a rule, are gifted and intelligent people, but we come across others who are genuinely confused, and have absolutely no chance of matching up their pet with the correct formula,” explained Lucy Postins, The Honest Kitchen’s founder and CEO. They’re hesitant about making choices and when they do, they’re mostly incorrect. Zodiac is a way to resolve that.”
The Honest Kitchen’s Astrology platform is set to revolutionize the pet food shopping process around the world. The portal can be accessed at thehonestkitchen.com/zodiac and is free to use until further notice.